Seen on Quora

jokes, funny pics... anything for the lolz
Post Reply
User avatar
merry
  
  
1500 Posts
1500 Posts
Posts: 1981
Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2022 3:01 pm
Location: Cotswolds, UK
Contact:

Seen on Quora

Post by merry »

A few of Eccles' last posts (to be continued plz Eccs)

Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce?

Farmer: which one, black one or white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: 2 litres per day.

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: 2 litres per day.

Interviewer : Where do they sleep?

Farmer: The Black one or the. White one?

Interviewer: The black one

Farmer : In the Barn

Interviewer: And the White one?

Farmer: In the Barn

Interviewer: Your cows look healthy... What do you feed them?

Farmer: which one..black one or white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: Grass

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: Grass

Interviewer: ( :mad ) but why do you keep on asking if the black one or the white one when your answers are just the same??

Farmer: Because the black one is mine.

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: It's also mine.


:D
"... not to be told a story, but to live inside a dream." - Hades, The Burnt City
User avatar
merry
  
  
1500 Posts
1500 Posts
Posts: 1981
Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2022 3:01 pm
Location: Cotswolds, UK
Contact:

Seen on Quora

Post by merry »

I was at the checkout in Sainsburys, with a trolley full of food, waiting behind a little old lady, who had bought a few items, but didn't have enough in her little change purse, for all three items.
She was 7 pence short, and was shaking a bit , as she said to the checkout girl , “ I’m so sorry, I'll have to put the sugar back, and just have to learn to drink my tea without it, I suppose.
I HAD to step in and help the dear old thing.
I said, Don't worry, my love, please allow me to take it back to the shelf for you."
I slept better that night, and I felt really good , knowing I'd helped this little lady.



:lol:
"... not to be told a story, but to live inside a dream." - Hades, The Burnt City
User avatar
merry
  
  
1500 Posts
1500 Posts
Posts: 1981
Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2022 3:01 pm
Location: Cotswolds, UK
Contact:

Seen on Quora

Post by merry »

And some funny recent pics:

tit.jpg

dogs.jpg

schro.jpg
"... not to be told a story, but to live inside a dream." - Hades, The Burnt City
User avatar
Patience
 
 
300 Posts
300 Posts
Posts: 304
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 10:23 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by Patience »

C568F587-72CB-437E-A9AE-996DD1382474.jpeg
Hee hee
User avatar
merry
  
  
1500 Posts
1500 Posts
Posts: 1981
Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2022 3:01 pm
Location: Cotswolds, UK
Contact:

Seen on Quora

Post by merry »

:lol: :lol: :lol: good one Patience

Eccs we want more!!!! These kept pani cheerful through a couple of really dark hours when the board got nuked :D
"... not to be told a story, but to live inside a dream." - Hades, The Burnt City
User avatar
eccles
 
 
1000 Posts
1000 Posts
Posts: 1031
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by eccles »

Woke Snow white?
snow white.jpg
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
User avatar
eccles
 
 
1000 Posts
1000 Posts
Posts: 1031
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by eccles »

One from the USA for October.
October.jpg
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
User avatar
eccles
 
 
1000 Posts
1000 Posts
Posts: 1031
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by eccles »

From NASA
Asteroid.jpg
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
User avatar
merry
  
  
1500 Posts
1500 Posts
Posts: 1981
Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2022 3:01 pm
Location: Cotswolds, UK
Contact:

Seen on Quora

Post by merry »

There must be some more of these by now, Eccs! *twiddles thumbs*
"... not to be told a story, but to live inside a dream." - Hades, The Burnt City
User avatar
eccles
 
 
1000 Posts
1000 Posts
Posts: 1031
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by eccles »

Are horse-drawn carriages safe?

They can be a little wobbly.

This is on account of the fact that, horses find it difficult to hold a pencil with their hooves.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
User avatar
eccles
 
 
1000 Posts
1000 Posts
Posts: 1031
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by eccles »

Why don’t monsters eat ghosts?

Cos they taste like sheet!
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
User avatar
eccles
 
 
1000 Posts
1000 Posts
Posts: 1031
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by eccles »

If you don't get this one, look a bit harder. :)
spiderman.jpg
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
User avatar
eccles
 
 
1000 Posts
1000 Posts
Posts: 1031
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by eccles »

For many years, a woman cooked two steaks for herself and her husband for dinner once a week. The husband would always take the smaller of the two steaks for himself, and give the larger steak to his wife.

Years later, this pattern stopped, and the husband would take the larger of the two steaks for himself and give the smaller one to his wife.

Noticing this, the woman said to her husband, “Dear, I guess you must not love me as much now, since you used to give me the larger piece of meat, but now you keep it for yourself.”

The husband replied, "No, no, dear! That's not the issue, I love you just as much. The difference is, you cook much better now.”
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
User avatar
Panikos
  
  
150 Posts
150 Posts
Posts: 162
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2022 4:04 pm
Location: On the banks of the Thames
Contact:

Seen on Quora

Post by Panikos »

I love these! :rofl
User avatar
eccles
 
 
1000 Posts
1000 Posts
Posts: 1031
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by eccles »

What is the name for a lion that is missing an eye?
A lon
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
User avatar
eccles
 
 
1000 Posts
1000 Posts
Posts: 1031
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by eccles »

Er, Mavis, you know these things you go to on Monday nights, well, are you sure it’s a yoga class?……….
Yoda.jpg
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
User avatar
eccles
 
 
1000 Posts
1000 Posts
Posts: 1031
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by eccles »

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a

'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a

thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper..

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in

thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the

light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't

honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,

and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of

God!'

'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those

loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

;

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him

yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger

stuck up in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window

and gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that

they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is

when I noticed the light had changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on

through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection

before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave

them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the

Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord

for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love,,,, grandma..
😊
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
User avatar
eccles
 
 
1000 Posts
1000 Posts
Posts: 1031
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by eccles »

Dumped.
dumped.jpg
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
User avatar
eccles
 
 
1000 Posts
1000 Posts
Posts: 1031
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by eccles »

How fast is the UK train?

A man has to walk in front of the train to ensure no people or animals are on the track, so the train is pretty slow. In case you were concerned about the man having to walk for hundreds of miles, the train is full of other men who periodically take his place. Unfortunately this leaves no room for passengers.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
User avatar
eccles
 
 
1000 Posts
1000 Posts
Posts: 1031
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Seen on Quora

Post by eccles »

"Last year I joined a support group for anti-social people. We haven't met yet."
Last edited by eccles on Sat Oct 29, 2022 1:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
Post Reply