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A few of Eccles' last posts (to be continued plz Eccs)
Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce?
Farmer: which one, black one or white one?
Interviewer: Black one
Farmer: 2 litres per day.
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: 2 litres per day.
Interviewer : Where do they sleep?
Farmer: The Black one or the. White one?
Interviewer: The black one
Farmer : In the Barn
Interviewer: And the White one?
Farmer: In the Barn
Interviewer: Your cows look healthy... What do you feed them?
Farmer: which one..black one or white one?
Interviewer: Black one
Farmer: Grass
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: Grass
Interviewer: ( ) but why do you keep on asking if the black one or the white one when your answers are just the same??
Farmer: Because the black one is mine.
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: It's also mine.
Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce?
Farmer: which one, black one or white one?
Interviewer: Black one
Farmer: 2 litres per day.
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: 2 litres per day.
Interviewer : Where do they sleep?
Farmer: The Black one or the. White one?
Interviewer: The black one
Farmer : In the Barn
Interviewer: And the White one?
Farmer: In the Barn
Interviewer: Your cows look healthy... What do you feed them?
Farmer: which one..black one or white one?
Interviewer: Black one
Farmer: Grass
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: Grass
Interviewer: ( ) but why do you keep on asking if the black one or the white one when your answers are just the same??
Farmer: Because the black one is mine.
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: It's also mine.
"... not to be told a story, but to live inside a dream." - Hades, The Burnt City
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I was at the checkout in Sainsburys, with a trolley full of food, waiting behind a little old lady, who had bought a few items, but didn't have enough in her little change purse, for all three items.
She was 7 pence short, and was shaking a bit , as she said to the checkout girl , “ I’m so sorry, I'll have to put the sugar back, and just have to learn to drink my tea without it, I suppose.
I HAD to step in and help the dear old thing.
I said, Don't worry, my love, please allow me to take it back to the shelf for you."
I slept better that night, and I felt really good , knowing I'd helped this little lady.
:lol:
She was 7 pence short, and was shaking a bit , as she said to the checkout girl , “ I’m so sorry, I'll have to put the sugar back, and just have to learn to drink my tea without it, I suppose.
I HAD to step in and help the dear old thing.
I said, Don't worry, my love, please allow me to take it back to the shelf for you."
I slept better that night, and I felt really good , knowing I'd helped this little lady.
:lol:
"... not to be told a story, but to live inside a dream." - Hades, The Burnt City
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And some funny recent pics:
"... not to be told a story, but to live inside a dream." - Hades, The Burnt City
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:lol: :lol: :lol: good one Patience
Eccs we want more!!!! These kept pani cheerful through a couple of really dark hours when the board got nuked
Eccs we want more!!!! These kept pani cheerful through a couple of really dark hours when the board got nuked
"... not to be told a story, but to live inside a dream." - Hades, The Burnt City
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Woke Snow white?
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
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One from the USA for October.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
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From NASA
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
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There must be some more of these by now, Eccs! *twiddles thumbs*
"... not to be told a story, but to live inside a dream." - Hades, The Burnt City
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Are horse-drawn carriages safe?
They can be a little wobbly.
This is on account of the fact that, horses find it difficult to hold a pencil with their hooves.
They can be a little wobbly.
This is on account of the fact that, horses find it difficult to hold a pencil with their hooves.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
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Why don’t monsters eat ghosts?
Cos they taste like sheet!
Cos they taste like sheet!
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
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If you don't get this one, look a bit harder.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
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For many years, a woman cooked two steaks for herself and her husband for dinner once a week. The husband would always take the smaller of the two steaks for himself, and give the larger steak to his wife.
Years later, this pattern stopped, and the husband would take the larger of the two steaks for himself and give the smaller one to his wife.
Noticing this, the woman said to her husband, “Dear, I guess you must not love me as much now, since you used to give me the larger piece of meat, but now you keep it for yourself.”
The husband replied, "No, no, dear! That's not the issue, I love you just as much. The difference is, you cook much better now.”
Years later, this pattern stopped, and the husband would take the larger of the two steaks for himself and give the smaller one to his wife.
Noticing this, the woman said to her husband, “Dear, I guess you must not love me as much now, since you used to give me the larger piece of meat, but now you keep it for yourself.”
The husband replied, "No, no, dear! That's not the issue, I love you just as much. The difference is, you cook much better now.”
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
- Panikos
-
-
150 Posts
- Posts: 162
- Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2022 4:04 pm
- Location: On the banks of the Thames
- Contact:
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I love these!
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What is the name for a lion that is missing an eye?
A lon
A lon
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
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Er, Mavis, you know these things you go to on Monday nights, well, are you sure it’s a yoga class?……….
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
Seen on Quora
Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:
Dear Grand-daughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a
thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper..
Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the
light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't
honked, I'd never have noticed.
I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,
and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of
God!'
'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those
loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
;
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger
stuck up in the air.
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window
and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing.
Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
when I noticed the light had changed.
So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on
through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave
them after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord
for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon,
Love,,,, grandma..
Dear Grand-daughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a
thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper..
Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the
light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't
honked, I'd never have noticed.
I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,
and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of
God!'
'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those
loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
;
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger
stuck up in the air.
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window
and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing.
Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
when I noticed the light had changed.
So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on
through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave
them after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord
for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon,
Love,,,, grandma..
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
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Dumped.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
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How fast is the UK train?
A man has to walk in front of the train to ensure no people or animals are on the track, so the train is pretty slow. In case you were concerned about the man having to walk for hundreds of miles, the train is full of other men who periodically take his place. Unfortunately this leaves no room for passengers.
A man has to walk in front of the train to ensure no people or animals are on the track, so the train is pretty slow. In case you were concerned about the man having to walk for hundreds of miles, the train is full of other men who periodically take his place. Unfortunately this leaves no room for passengers.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
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"Last year I joined a support group for anti-social people. We haven't met yet."
Last edited by eccles on Sat Oct 29, 2022 1:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)
(Terry Pratchett 1948-2015)