My Old Gentleman.................

OurCreature · Post by **OurCreature** » Sat Dec 02, 2023 2:59 pm

.............died in the early hours of 1 December; one of his daughters and her husband were with him when he died.

Although old people living in care homes have a tendency to do this, I still find myself sad about their loss; it will be a little while before I do some more 'befriending' as Brendoncare put it. I shall attend the old gentleman's funeral if his family invite me.

The daughters think I made a difference for the better to his enjoyment of life; if I really achieved that, then maybe I have done a little bit of good.

I certainly didn't see his death coming; it just shows (which I should know by now) that the condition of very old people can change almost overnight.

eccles · Post by **eccles** » Sat Dec 02, 2023 9:11 pm

That's sad news OC. I'm sure your kind hearted visits made a big difference to his life as his daughters said.

Patience · Post by **Patience** » Sat Dec 02, 2023 10:42 pm

Oh, OC, that is very sad news. From the things you have written, I think you both benefited from the friendship.
I think you are right that it would be wise to take some time before befriending another resident. Losing someone, even a friend is always difficult.

Furby · Post by **Furby** » Sun Dec 03, 2023 7:25 am

Ah the old gentleman.

Old people do the disappear when least expecting thing. A relative who lived to 100 was at deaths door on and off for 20 years then died in sleep when not being treated for anything fatal at the time. I hope the old gentleman was similar non dramatic death what's he died of.

dianakc · Post by **dianakc** » Sun Dec 03, 2023 1:54 pm

I'm so sorry OC. I'm sure he will have treasured your friendship xx

OurCreature · Post by **OurCreature** » Mon Dec 04, 2023 10:25 am

Thank you all for your kind thoughts.

Wildrover · Post by **Wildrover** » Tue Dec 05, 2023 3:16 pm

I too am sad to hear this OC. A young lady who drinks in our pub works for Social Services providing assistance to old people with washing cooking and cleaning and she loses a "customer" a month on average. She used to get really upset and teary but more recently she seems to have settled into a weary resignation that this is the way the world works. She does take consolation in the fact she provides some cheery conversation to old people who wouldn't have much human interaction and as others have said I hope you can do the same OC. I'm really glad that his daughters were positive about the friendship you provided to the old gentleman - hopefully it will make you feel the time you spent with him was valued. II also agree with Patience and you in that you should take some time to refill your empathy energy banks before befriending another resident.

OurCreature · Post by **OurCreature** » Thu Dec 07, 2023 7:39 am

Thank you WR!

Post by **merry** » Thu Dec 07, 2023 8:48 am

Oh, I'm sorry OC

I know he was glad of your visits and you put a lot into making an interesting hour or so for him.

OurCreature · Post by **OurCreature** » Thu Dec 07, 2023 10:56 am

Thank you, Merry!

OurCreature · Post by **OurCreature** » Tue Dec 12, 2023 8:59 am

It is the old gentleman's funeral mid-morning on 21 December and I shall attend. The crematorium is on my way to KW my side of Romsey so not very far away; it's fairly new. They are having the reception at St Giles View in Winchester, but I shall skip that as it is Volunteers' Afternoon Tea at KW that day. It would all be too much of a rush as parking is limited at St Giles View and the Park and Ride/ordinary buses might not be convenient to get me close to the Home or back to the Park and Ride and I don't really want to be rushing or missing buses on my way to KW.