helo all.
neil kinnock has bean band from dryving for six munce for speeding. hoos beane a nawty boyo?
anuther nawty boy is john prescott hoo had an afare with his secreterry. i wunder if she has a gide dog?
she sed thay had sex in a hotel room wunce wile his wife wated downstares. she dident have to wate long then mister prescott? johns wife is sed to be grately saddened. her saying john ime grately saddened. dosent ring troo sumhow.
patricia hewitt has bean trubled with eklers at a recent meating with nerses. i like eklers myself espeshly the choclate wuns.
sum chickins in norfolk have bean tested for berd flew but not the dedly wun. it kild them so it wus pritty dedly for them.
crude oil is now $73 dollers a barel. i no wot crude oil is. its stuff that cums out of the grownd shouting buggrit. then wen its refined it tawks posh.
tax credits were overpade by 2.2 billion last yeer. tescos profits were also 2.2 billion. yoo can imajin all those peeple flocking down to tescos after geting thare giros.
japan wants moar hapy famlys becus thay are having fewer children so it is paying for speed dating events. i can sea it now.
harrow. i rike yoo. wanna make babys?
sophie told me shes reeding a book cald bram stokers dracula. its the orijinal story wich all those films came
from. dracula was kild by driving a steak throo his hart. i sed but how did thay get a soft thing like a steak to go throo his hart? she sed it was a wuden steak. i sed did thay get it from a wuden cow? she sed it was just a fense post with a point on the end but thay cud hardly say drive a fense post throo his hart. i sed yoo cud the way yoo drive. i wus onlie kiding tho.
chat sune.
dik.
I almost feel sorry for the labour party! oh wait. No I don't.
I think you're pushing your luck there with Sophie. I don't hold with letting women read violent books either as it might give them ideas.
Dik's words about Dracula reminded Creature of a play he saw on television when he quite young. It two doctors, and the young doctor having an affair with the old doctor's young wife. But he used to play chess with the old doctor in his gloomy home in rural Transylvania.
Now, the wife was slightly ill, and it look like she getting little pinpricky bites in the neck, enough for MARKS and BLEEDING. So this been going on a few days and everybody know about it, and then it chess night.
Towards the end of the game, the young doctor starting to feel rather peculiar, and discover to his horror that the older doctor not so daft, knows about the AFFAIR. And the old boy explains his evil plan to him, and the young doctor can do nothing about it because he been given a paralysing drug in the coffee wot render him speechless as well as paralysed. Then the older doctor do carry him down to the cellar and put him in an open coffin.
Next morning, wife's pillow a bit bloodstained - thanks to the administrations of her husband and a blood test needle - and the Hue and Cry is UP, and the ill-educated country peasants search the cellars, and they know exactly wot to do with wot they find in the coffin, it rural Transylvania after all.
I has just realised this a more lurid version of the Sherlock Holmes tale The Retired Colourman, where old Amberley suspects his chess partner the young Dr Earnest of having an affair with his much younger wife - but he kills them both by luring them into his strongroom and turning on the gas tap wot is outside the room when he has locked them in.