Aries (March 21-April 19): due to a small miscalculation your stars are one day late. These then are your predictions and advice for yesterday. You will go on a long bus journey today with a talkative teenager - pack ear plugs!. Do not visit any open air markets as it will rain heavily for most of the day. From 10am you will be wet, cold and miserable. By 11am you will be wet, cold, miserable and broke. Take heart though because you have that wonderful journey back to look forward to. If you must shop then avoid buying any kind of towels unless you want a turquoise nose and cyan cheeks. Do not purchase that £14.99 Rolex from the guy in the raincoat who keeps looking left and right.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Taureans may be very aware of the moon rising in their house. Thick velvet curtains are the best solution. Your special word for today is nutmeg. Say it loudly at every opportunity.
Gemini (April 20-May 20): You will feel ignored and unappreciated today. Co-workers will walk past you without a word. At 2pm you will suddenly realise that you are in the wrong office.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): This sign is out of order today. It has been taken down for maintenence and for the next 24 hours you are on your own.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): A day for practicing your social skills. Strike up a conversation on the train by asking strangers what color underwear they have on. Your lucky animal is the duck billed platypus - use it wisely
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You will feel anxious and paranoid today as though everyone were out to get you. You are absolutely right. A stranger will follow you all afternoon acting suspiciously. Be very alarmed! If you decide to carry Mace do be sure you take the small spray cannister and not the large rusty club with spikes sticking out as it will not match your outfit.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Today will be the best day you have had in ages. All torrent downloads will finish at astonishing speeds, Word97 will not change your font randomly, WinXP will not give you any crap about security and a surprise letter from your bank will explain that after a recount you are not badly overdrawn after all. Treat yourself to a box of chocolates secure in the knowledge that (for today only) the calories will not count.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You should wear your shortest dress and highest heels today to show off your legs. If you are a woman then go for jeans and a tee shirt instead as no one will be looking at you.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Lighten up and enjoy life today. Start off with some peanut butter and a close friend. Later in the day much fun can be had by picking a Virgo and following them around looking suspicious. Dark glasses and a newspaper with holes cut in it are just the thing
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A difficult day awaits you. Steer clear of department stores and turkish coffee shops. Do not eat any citrus fruit or fresh asparagus (frozen is ok). Beware of large brown dogs and small children. Use the stairs rather than the escalator unless heading east. Do not enter any lift containing either 4 or 7 people. Avoid raising both hands above your head between the hours of 8am and 3.34pm. Wear one item (and one item only!) that is navy blue.
If you had planned to travel by tube you might try a train instead for comfort
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Give special thought today to your 'inner child'. Give it a clip round the ear and send it to bed without any supper so you can go out and get legless. Do not mix brandy with red wine, ask for two separate pint glasses.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): You need to make more of an impression on people and your tremendous sense of humour is just the thing, so do tell lots of jokes today. For the full effect try and match the joke to your audience. Tell Siobhan in the stockroom the one about 'Paddy and the wheelbarrow' and amuse Mr McGregor in sales with the 'scotsman with a penny on a string'. Mr Singh will enjoy the amusing story about the 'Hindu cow'. For more direct humour you could put something cold and wet in the manager's bowler hat and then to really get things going sneak around hiding all the prayer mats.
As I am an Aries, I find your prediction uncanny... I was out shopping with a teenager, bought loads of stuff.... and got very rained on for my troubles. OK we weren't using public transport but I could definitely have done with ear plugs.
I cleverly steered clear of buying any laundry, except the teenager needed some things called 'Thongs' which I really don't understand at all. At least they were black.
Maybe there is something in this astrology lark after all.
Damn Im out of peanut butter! and friends! 
(unless ecc is not busy)
However I did manage to startle a virgo!
Loved the Virgo prediction, Mystic, and the Aries one was so close to Merry's recent outing you'd almost think you and she were the same person!
I swapped the tv to another tv stand last night (see cheer) and was up to my neck in assorted scart leads and set-top boxes at the time you posted Uff, so missed your request for friendly peanut butter. I can do the friend bit but I don't have peanut butter. Will home made blackberry jam do instead?
WOOHOO!
