Aries (March 21-April 19): If you have a tall dark and handsome lover called Jerry then today is a good day to break it off and send him home to his wife. If you make the right decision I predict a prosperous and more importantly a 'long' life.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): With the influence of Venus this is the right time to try out being nice to your employees. Be patient with mistakes ( such as losing the quarterly VAT forms ). A generous pay rise would ensure greater harmony.
Gemini (April 20-May 20): If your name is Jerry then today you will break up with your lover. Make it right by taking home a big bunch of flowers and be especially accommodating all day. A box of chocolates wouldn't go amiss.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): The rise of Mars reinforces your need to go up to your boss and tell him just what you think of him. A major career change is predicted in the near future so be prepared.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Today will be the best day of your life! You will find a winning lottery ticket, make 3 new lifelong friends and be offered a new and rewarding job. This will only come to pass if you go out wearing shorts and one of those really skimpy tops that leave your tummy bare. (Sorry, my other half made me put that in)
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You will begin a new diet today which will work amazingly well. The pounds simply will fall off (and hopefully be added to my Slim-Fast shares)
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Flirting with everyone around you will not go down well with someone who feels she saw you first. Be aware of the needs of others and you will avoid trouble. Big trouble!
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Because of the crucial position of jupiter you will find expressing your feelings and thoughts to be very beneficial today. Frequent posting on a board is recommended.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): For those who enjoy sporting activity, today is a good day to sit in a small stuffy room in front of the tv watching people hit small balls with long sticks. If you like grass you will be particularly ecstatic.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Today is going to be a disaster. Avoid it by staying at home with the door locked, the curtains closed and a huge box of chocolates. If you were born on the cusp of Capricorn and Sagittarius then you may combine this with the advice above.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You will be in the mood for love and romance. Sadly your partner will be in the mood for golf. Be understanding and at least help by holding his balls.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): you will have a terrible argument with a friend of the same sign as you. You will feel like refusing the lift you promised, but it's vitally important that you pick up the Pisces.