Just returned from two weeks in the UK, and missed you guys.
The day we arrived in London, Thingummie Minor found this letter, complete with official letterhead, in her suitcase:
Dear Traveller:
On behalf of the Heathrow Port Authority, we wish to welcome you to the United Kingdom.
This is to inform you of the fact, during routine off-loading of luggage, transport, inspection, or other ground transport activities at Heathrow International Airport, your chequed baggage, package, pram, sporting equipment, goods, or other hold item was fumigated.
In cooperation with United States Customs and Immigration Enforcement (ICE) at the port authority for International Airport Dulles; United States Fish and Wildlife- Invasive Species Program (USFWISP); United States International Invasive Species Information Center (USIISIC); and other participating North American programmes; HM's Revenue and Customs has instituted an aggressive extermination protocol for eradication of incoming destructive insect pests, specifically, Euschistus servus, the common brown shield bug.
Your chequed baggage, package, pram, sporting equipment, goods, or other hold item was selected for inclusion in this fumigation programme based upon one or more of the following factors: embarkation at a geographic location currently identified as a centre of infestation; actual identification of pests closely associated with chequed baggage, package, pram, sporting equipment, goods, or other hold item via visualization of insects; canine identification of characteristic insect odor associated with your chequed baggage, package, pram, sporting equipment, goods, or other hold item.
Thank you for your understanding and cooperation. Mind you, it's not quite cricket, considering these pests were European to start with. But Her Majesty just can't bear the smell when you squash the little buggers, and considers them rather icky. You know how these royals can be. Also, it isn't really sporting to have yer mum's April fools' prank when it is still March. But that's between you yanks, and now we're off for tea.
We apologize for any delay associated with this important fumigation programme and hope you were not unduly inconvenienced. We certainly hope your stay in the United Kingdom will be pleasant.
Respectfully,
Arthur Prendergast Hopwelle
Petty Officer of Inspection Staff
Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs Office
Inspections Squad
Heathrow International Airport
234 Bath Road
Hayes, Middlesex
UB3 5AP
United Kingdom
I was almost fooled but I was a bit suspicous of the misspelt 'chequed'. UK spelling of 'cheque' only applies to the paper banking kind, so a baggage check would be spelt 'check'. 
Hope you had a cracking time, Asy.
much better than my April Fool. I told poor DP that the electricity was going to be cut off from 6pm till 12 and waited till she had finished moaning about no TV, no internet, no hot water, no lights until I confessed. It mildly amused me to see the look on her face 
Asy, we sure did miss you. It seemed ages! 
Glad you and Thingummie Minor are back safe and sound.
Hope you will tell us some more about the trip when you've had time to unpack etc!
nice one and welcome back!