Body and Soul - Aspirin the Wonder Drug

Aspirin is one of man's most ancient remedies:

Its origins lie in prehistory, when humans first began experimenting with plant and mineral remedies to alleviate pain and discomfort. Aspirin's key ingredient is drawn from the salicylates, chemicals found in a range of plants, the most famous being the willow tree. Five thousand years ago, ancient Egyptian physicians were using willow extract to treat aches and pains; centuries later Greek and Roman doctors, from Hippocrates to Galen to Pedanius Dioscorides, learned to value its therapeutic effects.

.... and it's now gathering a huge backing from scientists as a wonder drug which can and does prevent many of our illnesses:

A little white pill so versatile that it can relieve your headache, ease your aching limbs, lower your temperature and treat some of the deadliest human diseases. A roundup of evidence suggests that it helps prevent heart attacks, stroke, deep vein thrombosis, cataracts, migraine, infertility, herpes, Alzheimer's disease and even some of the most devastating cancers, such as bowel, lung and breast. It's a list that continues to grow, which may help to explain why more than 25,000 scientific papers have been written on aspirin

Many heart patients (such as mr meanie) have been taking a regular low-dose aspirin for years as part of their protocol but now it looks as though it may be beneficial to the rest of us too. Research is currently going on to determine who might benefit from regular low-doses of aspirin apart from people already known to be at high risk from the diseases it is believed to stave off.

Aspirin - the wonder drug

I think it is a scandal that such old remedies are considered so evil they will only sell you 12 at a time.

You used to be able to buy a bottle of 100 for sixpence.

If people want to kill themselves with too many they should be allowed to.

Meanwhile the rest of us should be allowed more than one days painkillers.

I suppose if desperate we could always go and chew on the trunk of a willow tree like cows.

There is a news story about Aspirin preventing cancer.

You need to take one a day.

**only sell you 12 at a time

Really? I usually get the 250 bottle of house brand

In the UK, the sale of large numbers of painkillers over the counter has been banned. The governement is very fond of banning, it is their favourite thing.

The ban is to save the lives of the hundreds of people that choose to commit suicide by taking lots of pills each year.

The fact that millions of people who don't commit suicide will be in pain as they cannot get to the shops every day to buy more painkillers does not matter. And although Sunday and Bank Holiday trading is now widespread, this does not apply to chemist shops which still have one shop in the whole council area open for one hour a day to dispense prescriptions.

In a supermarket you can only buy one small pack of 12 pills at a time. In a chemist you can get a bigger packet of 96 Ibuprofen but you need to be interviewed by the chemist first. (Tip - say you have had them before and are not allergic to anything and are in good general health. This may be difficult as you look like death warmed up and thats why you need the panikillers)

It is not possible to buy bottles of 200 unless you buy them under the counter. I have not tried it myself, but as it is possible to buy hard drugs at every bus and train station, I would guess those who want to can buy 200 aspirins.

In the US the constitution says you have the right to buy guns. Here we are not allowed to buy headache pills without the governments permission.

Online chemists like pharmacy2u or expresschemist can be a bit of a help here. Slightly better choices and the 'interview with the pharmacist' can be automated. You can also order several packs at a time

I refuse to go to my local chemists (Boots) because you have to be prepared to describe your symptoms in front of a long queue of customers to a teenager who was probably working in woolworths the week before.

I either refuse or make up stuff.

Is this for you?
No it's for my pet zebra
Has the person this is for had these drugs before
No they don't sell aspirin on the african subcontinent
Do they have any allergies
Only to wildebeeste

For some reason I don't feel as welcome in there as I used to so I avoid the place.

Btw I wouldn't actually touch Aspirin anyway until they make up their minds. The official position is that it prevents and causes heart attacks. It burns holes in your stomach wall and prevents stomach cancer. I wonder if it has any effect on schizophrenia cos the goverment could use some help there.

And in case anyone from Boots Chemist management reads this. It takes your staff 5 minutes to deal with one customer buying one item since they feel the need to enquire after the general health of the customers Aunts, Uncles and pets. I recommend they retire from work and join a local club if they want to socialise.

I thought it was lions that zebras were allergic to.

Definitely wildebeeste. You know.. big golden maned wildebeeste with huge claws and teeth, a petrifying roar and a taste for newly killed flesh.

It prevents stomach cancer because it burns holes in your stomach and sometimes it gets lucky and burns the cancerous bits.

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