I am now officially an orphan and an entirely disinherited orphan at that.
I am now considering just chucking in my job and just staying in the house until the money runs out or I die too.
I am now considering just chucking in my job
For various reasons (mainly linked to depression) I considered doing that 20-odd years ago, and a year or so later I was jolly glad I didn't.
So Furbs, I beg you to consider very carefully whether that really is the best option for you.
I'm sorry you have had and are having a bad time - I hope you soon see some light at the end of the tunnel.
Bless
MikeIt's easy for me to say that it will get better, Furby, but you know it will in time. The trick is surviving each blow that life lands you until enough time has passed that it becomes bearable again.
I wish I could shorten it for you. I wish I knew something useful that would help. But the only thing I can think of isn't necessarily very (or at all) appropriate - anyway someone always used to advise in bad times don't let the bastards grind you down.My Mummy's favourite singer was Kris Kristofferson and one of his songs is called Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down. In Mummy's case they did literally. They are bastards both in the dictionary sense and in the slang sense. Their mother is psycopath and no-one (outside the family) can spot it. But we picked "For The Good Times" for the funeral.
There is nothing in the will about the ashes and I signed as next of kin before I knew I was disinherited to the extent of ever last stick and sausage (for the crime of not having any bastards and neglecting and abusing them to the extent that Mummy worried herself to death about it) , so I may just keep them.I echo Helio's comments. Thinking of you, Furbs. Furby. Thinking of you. Us orphans will stick together, ok?
Keeping the ashes sounds quite a good plan as you can talk to your Mummy as you pass by. I talk to mine quite a bit. And make sure you vanish the spoon she used to stir those birthday cakes with, so her luck and love can go into the ones you make in future.The funeral people have told me that the executors have the final say in what happens to the ashes so I will have to give them up. But they need me to sign them out...
Anyway, did you know that to have a Humanist speak at a funeral costs more than a Religious preacher, and you have to have someone to unless you do it yourself. I paid the extra as Mummy has said many times what a load of old nonsense all the praying and doom and gloom at funerals is so we didn't have any of that.
And that a wooden coffin is cheaper than a cardboard one.I am really sorry that you are having to deal with all this, it sounds like more than anyone could stand. I realise I don't know anything at all about what the circumstances are, but what you said about being disinherited did make me think .... I know (from shenanigans in my own family) that it's supposed to be quite difficult, technically, to completely disinherit a child. Even if it's specified in a will, a person's offspring have legal legs to stand on. I just wondered about that (though obviously I have no idea whether you would want or could bear the hassle). But might it be worth getting legal advice just to see what your options might be? I don't mean to poke my nose in or anything, I just wondered about what sounds like a completely unfair and possibly legally dodgy situation. My Mummy's intentions were to disinherit my sister who is a psycopath but so clever that she always comes out smelling of roses and everyone feeling sorry for her.
Unless you have lived with a psycopath you can't really understand and even people who know you very well side with them.
Mummy didn't have money other than the house and I know Mummy was protecting me from being in the firing line with my sister and only Mummy and I know that is worth more than half a house.
I think you can only claim if you prove you were dependant on the dead person and as my sister and I both earn twice as much as mummy did (me in a job and my sister in child benefits) I don't think we would get very far.Next Page...