Some classified ads. which were actually placed in a U.K newspaper:-
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER - 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites !
FREE PUPPIES - 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbours dog.
FREE PUPPIES - Mother, a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog... able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES : NEVER BRED - Also 1 gay bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY - Must sell washer & dryer £100
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE - Worn once by mistake.
FOR SALE BY OWNER - Complete set of Enclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition £200 or best offer. No longer needed ; got married last month. Wife knows f---ing everything.
Brilliant
Incidently, to avoid gender prejudice, I should add that in the last ad, substituting 'husband' for 'wife' still works. 